I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
