): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
