I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
