So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
