How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
