Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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