please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Are we still banned from the library?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
