the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
