Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
tell me about the eggs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
