party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
