I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
