note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
