Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Panties = found
Randomize
