I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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