Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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