So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
