Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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