This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
