She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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