and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
