So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
