Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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