Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
