Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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