So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
