id be glad to
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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