She's JV to your varsity
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
