Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
