just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
