i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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