Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
