I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
