All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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