so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
