someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
