I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
