I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
