As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
