A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
