I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
