You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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