I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
