Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
