Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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