This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
