then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
