Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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