What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
