Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
