I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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