is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
