Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
